Nov. 9th, 2023

haitangkitty: (wanning)

Hi!

I'm Eli, a 20-something queer woman(she/they) who loves BL, GL, films, and kpop.
I write both original works and fanfiction.

My main interests:
  • Danmei: meatbun: 2ha
  • Kpop: Stray Kids, Le sserafim, Red Velvet, Enhypen
  • Films - especially queer films
  • Queer visual novels
  • Other stuff: alt-pop, dreampop, Wong Kar-Wai, poetry, impressionism, dancing,the captive prince -trilogy, year 24 group, thrifting and collecting 

Personal posts are locked.
haitangkitty: (Default)


(this is a repost from my tumblr)

I got obsessed with the hottest manwha of the day. The fandom especially on tiktok is going crazy and the work has received a lot of love and hate. I'd like to examine some thoughts about tiktok fandom and jaedan dynamic and what makes it so addictive and controversial (to some.)

"Toxic bl" "Red flag", To some young readers Jinx seems to be the first yaoi they are reading. It might have the killing stalking effect, it has shock value and people read it even though they hate it. It has the typical seme-uke dynamic from their character design to the plot as the wholesome virgin uke being in debt and the rich sex-crazy seme. Dan suffers physically, economically and emotionally in life and in the hands of Jaekyung. The dynamic is far from equal. Will it eventually become one? Will Dan's suffering be ever equal to Jaekyung's? This is what keeps the story interesting.

I think it's not contradictory that Jinx is popular in the time when two things in love are considered important: communication and consent. This is where the critique comes from. Jinx lacks both but is still hugely popular(but so are many heterosexual romances in this category: "Oh no what if a popular rich man had to have sex with me and fell in love with me even though I'm a poor virgin".) I think the taboo of it draws in, and Jinx being a yaoi as a genre it is somewhat still considered taboo although modern western fandoms might not think so(conversations around lgbt+ rights, respectability politics, representation etc Everything is very visible and has to seek approval from everyone. Where does sex fit into this?)

Debate of the fandom nowdays: fiction=reality? I have seen comments comparing Jaekyung (and his fans) to a real-life rapists and murderers. I think the topic of fiction affecting reality is interesting and nuanced but what matters here is the context: this work is part of a niche genre and audience. I also think that some people should stay away from smut. They lack literacy both in fiction and sexuality.

BDSM, violence, coersion and transaction as part of romance: Here is also the "classic yaoi" dynamic: the BDSM undertones, that in some fan theories will come play a bigger part of the plot and Jaekyung's character. The power dynamic is supposed to be unequal in such fantasies. It's not for everyone. The thing about dark topics/dynamics is that they catch the attention of the reader. Sometimes they are more psychological and sometimes it's just for the smut and gore. I'm interested to see how in depth Jinx will deal with these topics. So far it has been highly entertaining with constant suprises and cliffhangers.

"Who will fall first? Who will fall harder?". Jakeyung has already fallen for Dan but he does not realize that yet. He shows his feelings through possessiveness. He is an emotionally detached workaholic. He deals with stress through sex and that way Dan is his savior as well. He also represents something different, something genuine to him compared to his previous partners. Dan also has feelings for Jaekyung as he worries and cares for him. I think they will continue to communicate their feelings for each other through sex(/bdsm) and protecting each other in difficult situations in life.

I think Mingwa has crafted a very addicting story and I'm interested to see where this story goes. It might be a tropey romance but sometimes that's what you need.
haitangkitty: (Default)


(this is a repost from my tumblr)


Since I finished this story, I was left a bit sad (and maybe unsatisfied )by the violent and bittersweet ending. The tone shift from the beginning is huge, as the author says S1 is more comical and the story gets darker as it progresses. But the comical and loving moments between Jooha and Dooshik are at the heart of Pearl Boy; to love despite the darkness.

(Spoilers below/Talk about the ending)


The final season takes place in Seoul, far from the coastal city from the beginning of the story, which Dooshik has escaped because of his troubles in Seoul. In the end of the story, the roles are reversed; they have returned to Seoul because Jooha's home is unsafe. They are further away from the sea, where their first meeting takes place. The sea is an interesting part of the story as it is part of Jooha's nonhuman features as is his family's seafood restaurant. Nature plays an interesting part in this story symbolizing home,love, income and Jooha's condition, although used mainly as a sexy vechicle in the story, Jooha's pearls symbolize his abnormal beauty and what value humans see in it. As human tend to do with nature, they want to conquer it and profit off it as it is in Jooha's case. Dooshik becomes his savior as he sees Jooha's feature a beautiful and valuable on its own.

In dark romance there is usually two types of stories: I want to lock you up (sadistic) or I want to lock you up (protective). In Pearl Boy, Dooshik is the latter one protecting Jooha from the first one: Pilwon. The main romance is between the abuser and his savior, not the perpetrator of abuse. This is also why many readers love this story despite it being dark, the main couple is not "toxic" as in typical dark romances. This does not mean that Dooshik is an innocent character. I personally hate reducing stories into "red flags" and "green flags" as some (maybe very young) people on fandom tend to do. Dooshik as a savior character bears much responsibility in the story: can his love "cure" the abuse Jooha has suffered? Can he revenge his abusers? How can he become a more impactful figure than Pilwon in Jooha's life? These are some issues Dooshik deals with in the story and specifically deals with in the end of the story as it gets more violent and Jooha gets abused again (making Dooshik feel like he has failed protecting him). In one scene, Dooshik's protective behavior takes a darker turn and parallels Pilwon's attitude in Jooha's eyes. I think that scene shows how protectivness can turn to abuse: wanting to own your lover despite what he thinks. But in this case, it was only a emotional moment and not a turn of character for Dooshik. His frustration of being unable to protect Jooha turns into violence towards his perpetrators; in this case the twins.

But why it isn't Pilwon who get killed by them? In the end, I think instead of torturing him the story gives a more satisfying answer. Pilwon gives them two options but Jooha choose a third option: his own in which he dies together with Dooshik. That way he creates his own reality and does not bend to Pilwon's will as he has throughout the abuse.

The story is not psychological in its nature, but it deals with trauma and abuse. We get flashbacks throught the story and the whole story is about how Jooha wants to avoid those things happening to him again. I think this is why the amnesia ending is an interesting decision, as it plays into how trauma works like a circle. They get temporarily a new clean beginning where the traumatic past does not exist. Victims of trauma are often unable to remember their trauma and sometimes they do only remember parts of it or certain triggers cause them to remember. In in the ending of Pearl Boy, returning to water works as a trigger for Jooha to remember. I would love a more psychological sidestory(or just a fic) of Dooshik and Jooha just living their ordinary lives and dealing with trauma because that is another battle to conquer.

How do you end a story that deals with with sex trafficing? Will the abused get revenge? Will they get a happy ending? Thinking about other similar dark stories usually get dark endings because there is no way out of the scene of organized crime. There is no happy ending, only happy moments, some light in the darkness. In some parts of the story, death might seem a happier end than living. Is it realistic? Yes. Will it make the reader happy? No. But stories don't have to be realistic nor make readers happy. I think Pearl Boy's ending is both happy and sad. You can't take away the trauma but what is most important is that love is stronger.
haitangkitty: (Default)


It's been now two years that I've been into BL and I've always had interest in GL but there were some reasons I didn't get into the genre:
- school girls: i'm usually not interested in romance that has minors (in BL as well)
- friends-to-lovers: again i'm not into this in BL either but this seems to be very common in GL. I'm mostly into enemies to lovers.

Some years ago I read two GL's: Citrus and Bloom Into You. Those are considered one of the most popular ones but sadly they weren't my thing so I stayed away from the whole genre. Although I'm a queer woman I've never really got the wholesome girls being in love because that doesn't reflect my reality or it isn't what I dream about. My favorite GL is The Handmaiden so i like more mature and kinky works especially with fantasy or historical setting. This year I was also happy to find a new favorite f/f ship from the fantasy show the House of the Dragon.

This year I've been getting into GL again and have found some mature stuff I like, mainly manwha from Lezhin:

- Bad thinking diary: my absolute favorite! it has jealousy, love triangles and a beautiful art style
- Kill Switch: more lesbian love triangles and jealousy. Love interest a cool biker girl
- Talk Dirty To Me: kpop idols and bdsm
- Spiteful Affection: omegaverse!
- I'm More Dangerous Than You: this one is on bilibili. It's an author student x serial killer teacher and my second favorite GL I've read from this list
- My girlfriend's not here today: love triangles and cheating. I also love the art style.




Anime


- I'm in love with the villainess: this is my new favorite historical fantasy isekai. The love seems onesided at first but it's what i actually like
- Stardust Telepath: this has cute character design and it's a bit too cutesy for my taste but I still find myself watching the newest episode
- The Magical Revolution of the Reincarnated Princess and the Genius Young Lady: another historical fantasy isekai. I've only watched like 4 episodes but i like it so far.
+ Madoka Magica: not technically GL and it has school girls but they are badass and the show gets suprisingly angsty for a magical girl anime. I love how female friendship is at the center of it.



GagaOOLala

I've been watching a lot of lesbian short films as well as some feature films like Girl's Encounter. Lot of them are bittersweet or just sad but it seems to be that case with a lot of lgbtq+ films.

In conclusion, I read less GL than BL but that doesn't mean I care less about the works I read/watch. That being said I won't turn away from GL anymore and I'm open to discovering the genre more.

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haitangkitty

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